Hi, I'm Savannah, but you can call me Sav👋🏼

For most of my life, I never felt good enough (and sometimes still don't). I aimlessly walked through the world rejecting who I was and over-valuing other's opinions of me. I thought that everyone else knew better than I did so I depended on my external world to provide insight and validation. I felt so far away from myself that sometimes it truly felt like my life wasn't even my own. I believed my worth resided solely in the value I provided others. That shit is lonely. And disorienting. And painful. I had abandoned myself for so long that I didn't even know who I was or what I liked. That's when I knew something had to change. 

So, I set out on a journey to heal with the intention of intimately knowing and loving myself. I began facing my pain, insecurities, and trauma. The shadows that ruled my life were finally being illuminated. There was lots of confusion, pain, and tears because I was waiting to be "healed". I was waiting for this moment of complete freedom from the torments of my past. But it never came. It wasn't until I experienced terrifying undiagnosed health conditions that caused me severe physical and emotional pain that I began learning that I had oceans of trauma stored in my cells. I could write an entire novel on the fear and pain I endured within a span of 6 months. The grief of believing you are dying is a tidal wave and it completely enveloped me. 

After months of giving into fear and letting it drag me deeper and deeper into complete and utter hopelessness, I thought "I could either change the way I think or let myself die". So I chose to change. I started viewing my body as a divine messenger showing me all of the places it was frozen in time. Stuck in terror. Every symptom was my body's way of sharing it's pain. My pain. Showing me where we need to be set free. I began listening. I began validating every single ounce of pain that came forth. I finally unfolded the map that had been sitting in my pocket my whole life.

I am still in the process of healing from this mystery illness that I now like to call my "unintegrated pain". But here I am, wholly human, wanting to provide a space for other healing humans on their beautifully unique path. 

Maybe every single day is an opportunity for us to be a little kinder to the child inside of us that was doing the best they could and  just wanted everything to be okay. Just wanted to feel love and safety. This is your reminder that today is as good a day as any to give yourself that.